Funny Joke: 7 BAD SWINE FLU JOKES FOUND ONLINE
BEAT THE 7
7 Bad Swine Flu Jokes Found Online
7. Why did swine flu cross the River Grand? A: To get to the United States
6. What’s the difference between swine flu and the regular flu? A: Mexico
5. What is the chief export of Mexico now? A: Swine Flu
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Swine flue. – I don’t think this is what they had in mind when they signed NAFTA
3. Who said pigs can’t fly? I heard a pig flu into the UNITED STATES!
2. Two blonds girls are walking out of the bar and one of them is telling the other “I Think I had a wine flu”
1. Two buddies are talking and one guy tells the other; I’m worried man….. Why dude? I haven’t seen seen my brother since late Saturday nite when he went home with a pig.
Think ya got a punchline that can beat it?
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I heard this one this morning
“The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.”
I have the poormans version of swine flu…Spam flu
: main source of swine flu = kermits middle finger
:i think i’ve got swine flu, … i seem to have come
out in rashers!
:what do you get when kermit f***s miss piggy…swine flu
As the two friends wandered through the snow on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh. Pooh however had other thoughts running through his mind… “that pig sneezes, he’s fuckin dead!!!”
Symptoms of swine flu
1. overwhelming urge to roll in mud
2. Constantly opening the garbage can to see if theres anything good to eat in there.
3.wet dreams about Miss piggy…(or “Rosie” O’Donnell)
4.Your jewish friends refer to you as “unclean”
5.you Can’t pronounce the word ointment.Comes out “oink”-ment.
It was once said by many rednecks a Black man would be president “when Pigs Fly”….100 days into obamas presidency
SWINE FLU!!!!!!
Swine flu could of been easily avoided.
Miss Piggy never should of helped gonzo with his motorcycle stunt
They always end badly.
In an attempt to do their part to stop the impending pandemic,
Polish airlines has pulled bacon and eggs from its Breakfast menu.
I rang the Swine Flu HotLine.
Its’ useless.
All I got was crackling.
ya know how some people said that the U.S. would only have a black president if pigs could fly, it seems like swine flew.
It was once said that a black man would become president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obamas Presidency swine flu
Blame it on da flu got u feelin blue..blame it on the swine got u feeling blind….blame it on da Mex Mex Mex Mex M-E-X-I-C-A-N-S BABY.
Why did the pig jump off the tall building?
Cuz he read in the news that Swine Flu!
How can you tell if your wife might be getting swine flu?
She starts hogging the bed sheets
little piggy went to the market
little piggy stayed at home
little piggy gave his master swine flu
now piggy is all alone
how did the pig get off the roof? A: the swine flu
i think i have the swine flu cause im coming out in rashes!
i was in scotland and these two guys standing behind me had this whole swine flu joke skit, it went like this:
Guy 1: *cough cough*
Guy 2: aww man you still got the swine?
Guy 1: yeah man i just can’t get over it.
Guy 2: well how long have you had it?
Guy 1: a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek ( in a “swine” kind of a squeal!)
This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found out that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’, replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the way home.
The swine flu paranoia seems to be hitting schools rather hard. College medical centers are making lots of preparations and advising students, as are high schools, middle schools…
Even kindergartens are now teaching kids a new alphabet:
“A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-1-N-1-L-M-N-O-P…”