Learning Chinese

• That’s not right…………………………….Sum Ting Wong
• Are you harbouring a fugitive?……………Hu Yu Hai Ding?
• See me asap………………………………..Kum Hia Nao
• Stupid man………………………………….Dum Gai
• Small horse…………………………………Tai Ni Po Ni
• It’s very dark in here………………………Wai So Dim?
• I thought you were on a diet…………….Wai Yu Mun Ching?
• This is a tow-away zone………………….No Pah King
• Our meeting is scheduled for next week……Wai Yu Kum Nao?
• Staying out of sight……………………….Lei Ying Lo

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Here are a few funny “Dear Abbey” Letters. Hope they bring a smile to your face like they did ours:

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? (more…)

Here are some of the funny end of the world jokes that we featured on this week’s free comedy podcast #216. To hear us tell these assortment of End of the World jokes, Judgments Day jokes, Armageddon jokes listen to the end of the show.

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On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars. “Repent, the End of the World is Near!” he yelled.

One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. It had a sign next to it that read, “Pull this to end the world”

Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby. All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn’t stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.

As the driver later explained to the Highway Patrol, he had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said, (more…)

Here are some of the funny divorce jokes that we featured on this week’s comedy podcast #215. Listen to the end of the show to hear us tell them.

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This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit.”I’ve got grounds, all right,” sputtered the irate husband. “Can you believe my wife told me I’m a lousy lover?”"That’s why you’re suing?” pursued his lawyer. ”Of course not. I’m suing because she knows the difference.”

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“A recently divorced cowboy, who was wearing new, ill-fitting boots that he’d bought on sale, met an old friend at a singles party. While they were sitting down, sampling the pot luck, the friend heard the story of the breakup and asked, “Why did you divorce her? Mary was pretty and we all knew she was a good cook and housekeeper. Did she step out on you?” ”No, I can’t give you a reason,” he said to his pal, as he removed his boots and gave a sigh of relief. “Maybe she was like these boots: fine-looking, loyal, and a good worker, but (more…)

Two points. First, I thought humans were the only animals that drank the milk of another species. Two, listen carefully to the “banter” the tv folks have at the end. Did the dude really think dogs and raccoons do the dirty dance together?

You’re watching Surrogate Mama – ‘Morning Express’. See the Web’s top videos on AOL Video

Based on the news that taco bell will be offering a new taco made from a Doritos taco shell, here are our top 7 Bad Fast Food Ideas that we’re sure you can easily beat.

7. Cheesy Churro – Churro with a cheesy center.

6. Ice Cream Cereal – Kids love ice cream, so why not freeze your cereal and milk overnight, for a morning frozen delight.

5. Ketchup Pizza – Don’t let the red coloring fool you.

4. Twinkie Burger – Why get a whole wheat bun when you can get cream filled yellow sponges. (more…)

BEAT THE 7
7 Bad Swine Flu Jokes Found Online

7. Why did swine flu cross the River Grand? A: To get to the United States

6. What’s the difference between swine flu and the regular flu? A: Mexico

5. What is the chief export of Mexico now? A: Swine Flu

4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Swine flue. – I don’t think this is what they had in mind when they signed NAFTA

3. Who said pigs can’t fly? I heard a pig flu into the UNITED STATES!

2. Two blonds girls are walking out of the bar and one of them is telling the other “I Think I had a wine flu”

1. Two buddies are talking and one guy tells the other; I’m worried man….. Why dude? I haven’t seen seen my brother since late Saturday nite when he went home with a pig.

Think ya got a punchline that can beat it?
Type in your response below or click on BEAT THE 7 and check MyHyena.com next week to see who BEAT THE 7!