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"Experience is not what happens to you; it is
what you do with what happens to you." - Aldous Huxley
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases
to be serious when people laugh."- George Bernard Shaw
Tragedy, it seems, is as inescapable as taxes. At some point in our lives we
will face the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job or material possession,
or the heartache of separation. Pain and grief must be lived through rather than
avoided. It is the most important step in the recovery processes, not to mention
that it is proof that you are alive. However, whether it be by natural forces,
accidental occurrences, or conscious decisions, we must somehow proceed through
these events in order to live. Also, for third parties who see these tragic events,
being sympathetic may move a person to feel angry or sad. Yet here too, we must
somehow proceed through our feelings and use them as motivations for compassionate
acts.
Humor can be a very helpful, if not necessary tool for overcoming our sense of
helplessness and pain. Appropriate uses of humor can help us feel that life is
worth living fully again, can help us through the recovery process, and can assist
us in helping others.
1. Humor To Help Us Regain The Joy of Living
At my grandmother's funeral I gave a eulogy and shared as many
humorous stories about her life as I could. Part of coping with death
is remembering life. Death and loss happen in an instant. However, a
life is lived for a lifetime. Seems obvious, yet after the loss of a
loved one, or a home, or a job, we often find our minds focused on a
brief event rather than the many years of happiness and laughter that
preceded it. In order to recover from loss, we must first regain the
joy of living by allowing laughter back into our lives. It can be the
laughter associated with the memories of your house before it was burned
down, or it can be the humor of completely unrelated events. Either way,
humor and laughter give us joy and with joy we have energy for recovery
and that can lead to motivation for change.
2. Humor To Help Us In Recovery
The trauma of loss or unexpected events can leave us in a state of shock. Our
mind can also find itself obsessed with "what-ifs". These are regrets that
cause us to question what we could have done differently and worries that
cause us to question the outlook of the future. Both shock and obsessive
thoughts put us in a form or paralysis. They trap us in a state of non-action.
Humor from a friend or from ourselves can help break us free of our numbness
or our incessant thoughts. Humor can be used to wake us up to reality.
If we can see humor in our predicament or if we can find humor inspite
of our predicament, we are able to detach ourselves from our shock or from
our rambling mind to see a broader, non-personal view of the situation.
It is only here where we can gain freedom to act positively toward recovery.
3. Humor to Assist Others
We can help others simply by sharing our sense of humor with them. In essence,
all we are really alluding to is the sharing of a broader perspective in order
to help in the recovery process as mentioned above. Thankfully, sharing this
is simple. Laughter is contagious and if we are able to achieve a state of
mind where we are able to enjoy life again, laughter can spread this joy quickly
and efficiently and help communal recovery. However, we must be careful that
our type of humor is appropriate for the circumstances and that our humor is
considerate of the other persons position and their state of mind.
Joke excerpts from The Laughter Prescription:
"How many of you would like to go to heaven?" the minister asked
his congregation. All but one man raised their hands. "You mean to tell
me when you die, you don't want to go to heaven?"
"Oh, sure, but I thought you were getting a gang together right now."
EUPHEMISM
Aunt Emma passed away
Uncle Harry went to the park
The patient has expired
My brother met his demise
Grandpa has gone to his reward
Grandma is with the angels |
REALITY
Aunt Emma died
Uncle Harry died
The patient died
My brother died
Grandpa died
Grandma either died or was traded |
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References:
The Laughter Prescription- Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Bill Dana
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