Funny Dirty Adult Easter Joke: Boiling Eggs

Today’s Meditation: In celebration of Black Sabbath, ruminate on the following insightful dirty adult meditation and see if you can’t gain a little more appreciation for the real meaning of Easter. Q. What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water? A. It might take me awhile to get hard cause I just got laid by some chick....

Oral Inspection

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm. The wife turns over and says ‘Sorry honey, I’ve got a gynocologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.’ The husband feels rejected and turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. ‘Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow...

Old Age

The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, ‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.’ ‘I know,’ the old man said. ‘We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too .’ ‘Well,’ Granny snickered. ‘Let’s relive some old times.’ Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. ‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly replied, ‘My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’ ‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps. ‘One’s in your coffee and the other is in your...

The Penis and The Pickle Factory

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for many years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he was too embarrassed and he vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. ‘What’s wrong, she asked. ‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?’ ‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed. ‘Yes, I did.’ he replied. ‘My God, Bill, what happened?’ ‘I got fired.’ ‘No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’ ‘Oh…she got fired...

Funny Dear Abby Letters

Here are a few funny “Dear Abbey” Letters. Hope they bring a smile to your face like they did ours: Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?   Dear Abby, I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.   Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.   Dear Abby, I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything – and said it would never happen again.   Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?   Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?   Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.   Dear Abby, I...

Tough Elbow at the Hotel Lobby

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, I’m so sorry, but if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.’ Without batting an eye, she replies, ‘If your thing is as hard as your elbow, I’ll be in room...

Dirty Easter Jokes

One of the more common dirty Easter jokes is “Why You Wouldn’t Want To Be An Easter Egg”. The points in this joke can be both numerous and infinitely variable. Here are some of the less dirty, dirty reasons you wouldn’t want to be an Easter egg. You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes you three minutes to get hard. You get tossed in the garbage when they’re finished with...

Funny Bra Jokes

Yes, that’s right. Listen to this edition of the Great American Joke-Off as the Jackal and Big Daddy rattle off funny and not so funny bra jokes. Download or Play Below: Podcast: Play in new window |...