This week, learn how using humorous language can help you live a better, happier life.
Words are important. We use them to express how we feel. We use them to share ideas. And, we use them to give meaning to our lives. The problem is, we often give them meaning without thinking. We don’t think about what things could mean — we usually just think about the meanings that our feelings, ideas, and life events seem to have automatically.
Try an exercise. Anytime you ever feel upset, irritated, frustrated, depressed, stressed, or angry, think about where it is coming from. What happened that made you feel that way. Then, try to re-interpret the event differently.
For example, if you boss gives you a negative comment at work, you may first say to yourself, “Damn, hommie! I was working my tail off to get this done, and now you’re gonna come all up in my grill and dis me like that?” You see, this kind of reaction is really a defense mechanism of the ego. Your ego wants to gain approval. It wants others to like you. But really, you cares? Does your boss have that much control over your emotions or your sense of self worth? You are the only one that is responsible for how you feel. It’s your body, not his. Unless you’re in one of those professions.
So here are some tips to help you change the meanings you assign to events and things in your life:
1. Whenever you get frustrated and feel the urge to use profanity, use a substitute word for the cuss word. Sometimes our words help fuel our emotions. If you use a substitute word you may just laugh enough to stop the loop. So, for example, instead of using the F-bomb, you may choose a goofier word instead, such as Toot. Kind of hard to stay angry when you yell, “Toot you!” or “Toot!” or “Toot me!”
2. When you’re thinking about the event that triggered your negative emotional response, change the names of the characters and events. For example, if somebody cuts you off in the freeway, try referring to the other driver as an ambulance driver — maybe that had an life or death emergency they had to tend to. Refer to the act of cutting you off as, say, cutting the cheese. And for sure, do not refer to yourself in the story. See yourself in the third person by referring to yourself to another name, such as Frodo. When thinking about the incident, a personal act against you becomes “the ambulance driver cut Frodo’s cheese.”
Things happen all the time. But what these things mean is never set in stone. With the use of humorous language we can become aware of the automatic meanings we assign them. We can learn to become detached from them, and see them less personally and more objectively.
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