Hug a Nerd
By Brian Bullock
_____In the past few months, several things have happened in the
science fiction world. Star Trek: Enterprise was canceled, thus ending
over 15 years of new Star Trek shows on the air. Not long after, Star
Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith opened, presenting the final
missing chapter in the Star Wars saga.
_____You may not realize the significance of this. The two biggest sci-
fi franchises have presented their final chapters to the world. In a few
months, Enterprise will be off the air and Star Wars will be out of
theaters. No new Star Wars or Star Trek for the forseeable future. It
may mean nothing to you, but it does to the nerds in your office. The Tech
people whom you don’t socialize with, but you know that they’re
the ones who really keep your company operating.
_____In a few months the geeks of your office will become sullen and
withdrawn. More so, You will see them wistfully gazing into space,
reliving light-saber fights in their heads. Or fondly looking at a pair of
rubber pointed ears in their cubicles. Then your company website will
stop being updated. And when your computer freezes up for no
reason, no help will come. Eventually, no company will be able to do
business and the Internet itself will cease to function. A major
economic crisis is looming.
_____Sure, there are more sci-fi shows out there. But trying to get
them hooked on Lost won’t work because it’s too “mainstream”, and
mention the New Battlestar Galactica to them and they’ll run for the
showers, scrubbing themselves with a steel wire brush. See, while
you were partying and boozing it up in high school and college, the
tech people were alone in their dorms watching Captain Kirk shoot
aliens and make out with Green chicks. And seeing that big yellow
Star Wars logo pop onto a movie screen with the fanfare behind
it, is the closest experience to sex that some nerds have ever had. It’s
up to you to help them let go.
_____You have no idea how far a simple “live long and prosper” will
go. If you can do it with that “V” hand salute, it will make a nerd’s
day. Practice talking backwards like Yoda, (“Pull it together you must.
Always the books and the comics will there be.”) Simply showing
them that you care and that you have an interest, however smalle, in
their loss will mean the world to them, and will keep the U.S. economy
on its already shaky feet.
_____Thank you and may the force be with you (careful with using
that one though, they might think you’re coming onto them.)